


Post Script

by crapso



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Letters, M/M, Time Skips
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-02-23
Updated: 2015-02-23
Packaged: 2018-03-14 17:25:11
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,458
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3419225
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/crapso/pseuds/crapso
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Until then, I will continue writing letters. In case you do decide to stop being a giant ass one day and actually reply. And also because I spent three years on this gruelling friendship, and I’m not ready to let it go just yet.<br/>Still writing,<br/>-Kageyama</p>
            </blockquote>





	Post Script

**Author's Note:**

> I was inspired by letter exchange fics, so decided to try one out with angsty college/university kagehina

Dear Hinata,  
Tokyo smells. That’s all I’m going to say. It was cold when I got here, and it’s still cold. I don’t think my small heater works.  
And I know what you’re going to say, and no. The smell is not from me, it’s the dorm room I swear. The second I walked in I thought there was a dead corpse underneath my bed.  
The mattress is hard and not helping my anxiety. I know I shouldn’t be telling you that I have anxiety because you’d usually just laugh and make fun of me for it, but it feels good to talk about.  
I am scared. But I will get better soon, I hope. Classes haven’t started yet, will keep you posted when they do.  
Cold, sore, smelly and scared,  
-Kageyama

Dear Asshole,  
You did not respond to my last letter. I strongly hope that this is because you are too busy, have too much homework, or got a concussion and are unable to lift a pencil. Let me know if it is because of either of those things, and I will mercifully let you off the hook.  
I got rid of the smell. I think. Or maybe my nose just adjusted to it, because it seemed to disappear overnight.  
I also got a sponge pad to put underneath my mattress, so that solves that problem as well. As for the lack of heat, I am still trying to find a resolve.  
Classes started, and I am partially miserable but still deciding how I feel. The teacher is nice. Sweaty, but nice. And the work incredibly hard—but not too hard. It’s not extreme, I just get tired of reading names of bones for hours on end. The human body wasn’t meant to live this way, you know? Constantly reading and studying, it can’t be good for you.  
Still cold,  
-Kageyama

Dear Fucktard,  
Again, are you just not getting these? Or are you sending your replies by literal snail mail. Like you tied your letters to a snail. Because I could totally see you doing that.  
I checked with Sugawara-san, this is the right address. I know it is. Does your college just not give you your mail? I hope that’s the answer.  
I am currently wearing three layers of clothing, five layers of socks, and am drowning in two blankets. Someone really should have told me beforehand how cold it is here. I am literally dying, I believe.  
Still struggling with classes. This kinesiology reading is poisoning my mind. Today at the coffee cart I asked for a dynamic stabilizer instead of a decaffeinated small. And don’t you dare laugh at that, it was fucking embarrassing.  
There are a few nice guys in my class. I’ve been hanging out with one or two. It’s hard to talk to new people. And I’ve always had an especially hard time. You know that.  
This letter just got embarrassing pretty fast. Alright, I’m going to go.  
Ah, please reply?  
Half blankets, half human,  
-Kageyama

Dear Hinata,  
I don’t understand. When we parted ways, were we really in that bad of a space? That bad that you can’t even take five minutes to send a fucking letter?  
I know it was hard to separate, and that I was a douche when I said I didn’t want to spend the rest of my life on the streets desperately trying to become a world athlete- but that wasn’t that irrational thing for me to say, was it?  
I hope that one day you will forgive me. (Even though I did nothing).  
Until then, I will continue writing letters. In case you do decide to stop being a giant ass one day and actually reply. And also because I spent three years on this gruelling friendship, and I’m not ready to let it go just yet.  
And also because, I partially maybe to a certain degree or extent, kinda miss you. Just a little bit.  
I tried to erase that sentence, but my eraser isn’t working. Damn these pencils.  
Still writing,  
-Kageyama

Dear Hinata,  
I befriended a female! Yes, a live female! I am very happy. My last female friend was Yachi, whom I still talk to a little bit. (At least she replies to letters.)  
Her name is Gina and she plays volleyball, and is very good at physical therapy. She is easy to talk to, and laughs at everything I say. But sometimes, I miss people like you. People that laughed at only a few things I said, and who laughed the most at situations where I was being made fun of. Why I miss this douchebag behavior, I do not know.  
This newfound friendship is still in the works, but I will report any new developments.  
Your old lady killer friend,  
-Kageyama

Dear Hinata,  
Me and Gina went out for ice cream today. She laughed for five minutes at the flavor I picked out. (I think she laughs too much?)  
I saw an orange dog and thought of you.  
Still cold and now a little sticky,  
-Kageyama

Dear Hinata,  
What is it even like at your college? This one-way conversation is a little depressing at times, you know.  
Even if you’re not responding, I really do hope these letters are ending up in your hands and not in some trashcan behind the back of your school’s gym.  
Does your small town college even have a gym of any kind? Ha ha.  
Your friend at a better school,  
-Kageyama

Dear Hinata,  
I am sorry for that joke I made in the previous letter. The one making fun of your school. I am sure your college is great, and that you are having a good time.  
I miss your sister. If you see Natsu in the next few days, tell her I miss her.  
(Kind of missing you too),  
-Kageyama

Dear Hinata,  
Gina is surprisingly good at volleyball. It’s strange. She’s a spiker, like you, but her methods are ambiguous and a little amateurish. I don’t know, maybe I just miss our quicks.  
I hit her in the face today when tossing, and felt terrible about it so I ran to get an icepack. But she was laughing anyways, and our hands touched when she took the icepack from me.  
I think I like her.  
Feeling weird,  
-Kageyama

Dear Hinata,  
Gina found a picture of us today. A framed one on my desk, the one of us in our second year and we’re bickering at each other in our uncoordinated Halloween costumes. Remember? When we planned to be Mutant Ninja Turtles and we both showed up as Raphael?  
She said that we look like an old married couple in the picture.  
And don’t ask me why I brought that picture, because my mother packed it.  
Just clarifying,  
-Kageyama

Dear Hinata,  
YOUR LITTLE SISTER PHONED ME TODAY!!!!!!!  
Tell her she should not be on the phone unsupervised! I could have been a catfisher, or a pedophile! Make sure you tell her that!  
How did she even get my number?  
It was nice though. We talked about different types of birds and you. She said she missed you; apparently you don’t come home to visit that often. If you won’t talk to me, at least talk to her.  
Don’t be a ghost, Hinata. It really doesn’t suit you.  
Call your sister,  
-Kageyama

Dear Hinata,  
Gina rested her head on my shoulder today while studying. She was tired. I’m pretty tired as well.  
I have a test tomorrow on muscles and hopefully I won’t fail.  
Gina also hugged me and kissed me on the cheek at the door when she left after our study session. She smelled like grass, which is refreshing in the miserable dead of Tokyo winter.  
Cold and tired and slightly in love,  
-Kageyama

Dear Hinata,  
I remember that time you had that crush on that girl in third year. You described “butterflies” in your stomach and shaking of hands and the pounding of your heart. At the time I thought you were describing a stroke or heart attack. But now I understand you perfectly.  
It feels good, I think.  
It feels new.  
Actually relating to you for once,  
-Kageyama

Dear Hinata,  
I kissed her. But she ran away. Is that bad?  
Please help. Please.  
Confused,  
-Kageyama

Dear Hinata,  
She ignored my calls. I haven’t spoken to her in three days. I haven’t spoken to you in three months.  
I feel like my voice is tuned out from the world. That’s what I get for trying to be actually happy.  
The true ghost,  
-Kageyama

Dear Hinata,  
Good news! Me and Gina are dating!  
Now I know you are probably bursting with questions (or not), but I will tell you the details soon in another letter.  
She’s currently sleeping on my couch with a kinesiology textbook on her face. She looks cute, which is not something I say for many people.  
And if that dirty little mind of yours came up with dirty little thoughts, all from the phrase of “sleeping on my couch”, than you can shove them up your ass because fuck off. Lol.  
Missing my perverted high school friend,  
-Kageyama

Dear Hinata,  
I’m in love. I mean it.  
Gina is amazing; she’s always there for me, always smiling, always laughing—if I said I was annoyed by her laugh before I didn’t mean it because her laugh is music. She is music.  
I don’t remember feeling this happy for a long time. A long time since I've seen you.  
I’m not sure why I said that but I did.  
Still here and head over heels,  
-Kageyama

Dear Hinata,  
When did the world get so bright? Is this what love always does to you? I feel amazing, like the future is bright and I can take on the world. Me and Gina are trying out for the University volleyball team, and I’m taking her out for dinner tonight.  
I got my test back, 58%. But joke’s on that sweaty jerk-face professor, because I got to hold a boob today. Ha.  
Your failing and winning friend,  
-Kageyama

Dear Hinata,  
Me and Gina spent all day in bed. (And shut up, you.)  
It was nice. I couldn’t help but think how I wouldn't mind doing this for the rest of my life.  
Her eyes are brown. I looked at them more closely today, and realized they are almost the exact shade you have.  
That’s how smart and perceptive I am,  
-Kageyama

Dear Hinata,  
She asked me to grow a beard, I’m trying it out for the moment. Right now it’s patchy and gross, but she keeps rubbing it and telling me I “look good”. She makes everything better.  
I hope you have a girlfriend right now as well, so you can feel this. It’s incredible.  
Feeling good and beard slowly growing,  
-Kageyama

Dear Hinata,  
Okay… when I said in my last letter than I wish that you also have a girlfriend currently, I don’t really wish that anymore. In fact, I don’t wish that on you at all. I am not that cruel of a friend.  
This took a turn for the worst. I don’t know what happened. We got in our first fight today, and she sulked while watching game shows for the rest of the night. Then she got mad and broke a beer bottle.  
This is strange. And my beard is itchy and uncomfortable.  
Feeling itchy and annoyed and solely confused,  
-Kageyama

Dear Hinata,  
We tried out yesterday, and today the team called us both. I got in, Gina didn’t.  
But before you congratulate me, don’t, because these days everything has been falling apart. It’s like Gina just doesn’t want to spend time with me anymore.  
The second she found out that I got in and she didn’t, she screamed and threw her phone at me from across the room.  
I couldn’t help but think that you would have not done the same thing… you would have thrown a chair.  
Tokyo U’s regular setter and inadequate boyfriend,  
-Kageyama

Dear Hinata,  
My relationship is hanging by a thread. Literally—the picture of me and Gina hanging above my desk fell off its thread today. I think that’s God telling me to call it quits.  
Still itchy and now a little sad,  
-Kageyama

Dear Hinata,  
Guess what I did today? Punched a guy in the nose, threw a bag of fries at a couple in bed, and cried over a toilet for five hours.  
Details later. I need to get the rest of any fluids out of my body for the moment.  
And me and Gina are done, by the way.  
Your friend,  
-Kageyama

Dear Hinata,  
Alright, here’s what happened.  
Gina was acting normal in the morning, until she got a suspicious text and asked me to go pick up some fries. I did, and when I came back, she was in bed with some asshole with spiky hair and a flat nose. But no worries, I punched his nose and just made it flatter.  
And I threw a bag of hot fries on them in bed, so hopefully I burned their skin and left some permanent damage. That will teach them to fuck with Tokyo U’s regular setter.  
Still in the stage of anger,  
-Kageyama

Dear Hinata,  
I’m not sure why though… is it really that hard to be with me for several months?  
It’s been two weeks since the incident. Now I just feel empty. Like there’s nothing here, and I’m just floating along.  
With her everything meant something. The tests, the studying, the ramen noodles and beer bottles lying on the coffee table at midnight. What’s the point now?  
I only have volleyball.  
And you. (But that I don’t even have.)  
Now in the stage of depression,  
-Kageyama

Dear Hinata,  
Summer break is around the corner. Everything is so fake and bright, like the world is trying to shove its face into my unhappiness. I am so tired of seeing kids run around. They shouldn’t even be, they’ll get heat stroke!  
If you see Natsu tell her to wear a hat and sun screen.  
Your old friend,  
-Kageyama

Dear Hinata,  
I know you didn’t go home for the holidays, but hopefully I can see you now that it’s summer.  
Please reply and let me know if this is a plan you’d like to go through with. (Even though I know there’s a fat chance you’d reply. Who are you kidding, Tobio?)  
It’d be nice to see you,  
-Kageyama

Dear Hinata,  
A new fall, a new term. Second year of University is thrilling, but much more scary than first. Everything is different now. No people to help you, no orientations to guide you. And you aren’t allowed to live in the dorms anymore.  
My apartment is small and cramped and I have too many roommates. The kitchen barely fits two people, so I can never cook.  
And my lease is unfair! Two of my roommates, a happy and (loud) couple, are both sharing their rent. How is that fair? It’s 2016, come on!  
I didn’t get to see you over the summer. I asked your mom; apparently you didn’t come home at all.  
Where did you go, Hinata?  
Thinking about you more than you deserve,  
-Kageyama

Dear Hinata,  
Hurt my ankle in practice today. I remembered that trick you told me in second year when I hurt my leg then too as well, in Karasuno—the trick to elevate it, so the blood can flow easily. I did that, and it helped release the pressure a little bit. Thanks for the tip.  
Do you ever miss that gym like I do?  
-Kageyama

Dear Hinata,  
I thought about you all day. I think at this point it is safe to say whatever I want. And right now I am thinking about you.  
Where are you? Who are you with? What are you doing? Why is that thing that you are doing much more important than you keeping in touch with your family and friends? What are you eating? What are you saying? What are you thinking? What are you wearing?  
Okay. That last one might sound different than I intended.  
I think I miss you.  
Still your friend,  
-Kageyama

Dear Hinata,  
I was beginning to wonder what the point of these long lengthy letters are—what value they hold.  
It helped a lot, the past year and a half. Writing down these thoughts and records as a type of personal journal.  
And maybe it just helped because I knew that you were on the other end. Listening, reading. With no response that’s hard to believe.  
But if it is true, and if you did spend even one minute reading and thinking about what I wrote, thank you.  
Thank you,  
-Kageyama

Dear Hinata,  
Sometimes I wonder if these letters are in a box in your home, or in a box in a deserted post office. Then I wonder which reality I prefer.  
I remembered today how small your hands were. They were so small. They used to fit perfectly on everything.  
Odd thing to say I now, but I’m feeling odd today myself. And sentimental.  
It’s fun playing setter. I like my team.  
But it would be astronomically different if you were there. So different.  
Wondering why we ever even parted in the first place,  
-Kageyama

Dear Hinata,  
To help perform tosses better, I often picture the lead spikers as you.  
Just a quick confession,  
-Kageyama

Dear Hinata,  
I think everything would have been different if we went to the same school, took the same path.  
It would have been more fun, I think.  
It feels wrong being away from you for so long. Funny how only three years can make you feel so used to one person.  
But for us it’s different. A chemical reaction only takes seconds to develop and connect two people. We didn’t need years.  
Still here,  
-Kageyama

Dear Hinata,  
I’m sorry. I’m sorry for everything.  
I’m sorry I let go of you, of us.  
Please don’t shut me out for the rest of your life.  
I need you,  
-Kageyama

Dear Hinata,  
Sorry for getting emotional in the last letter. Sometimes I feel like a crazed girlfriend when writing to you, a one-sided stalking relationship.  
I saw Gina today. She complimented me on my now fully-grown beard and asked to have me back. I said no and slammed the door in her face.  
I hope that you are proud of me.  
And the beard is gone, by the way. She ruined it.  
-Kageyama

Dear Shouyou,  
I wish I could have seen you grow up. I wish you could have seen me grow up.  
Today I forgot the exact shade of brown your eyes are. If I don’t ever get the chance of seeing that shade again, I don’t think I’d ever be able to forgive myself.  
Older now,  
-Tobio

Dear Hinata Shouyou,  
I get it now.  
I should be mad at you. I should hate you for whatever game you’re playing or sick excuse you have or power trip you’re holding over my head—whatever the fucking reason for not replying to me for two whole goddamn years.  
But I’m not. I’m not mad. How can I possibly be mad at you? You’re just an unreal image, a ghost.  
I knocked on your door during the summer holidays. I knew you were home, your mother told me. I knocked, but no one opened up. I'm sure you've changed, like me, but if you are even an inch of what I knew you as, then I'm sure what I'm about to confess still applies.  
They say that “absence makes the heart grow fonder”. If that’s true, then all the absence you’ve given me must mean that my heart absolutelty adores you by now. And I think that’s true.  
Your friend,  
-Kageyama Tobio

P.S. I love you.

 

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

Dear Complete and Utter Idiot,  
I got your letters. I got every single one. I’m here, and I’m sorry. I hope that you will be able to forgive me one day. It takes a while to forgive ghosts, I know.  
Two years is a long time, especially when missing someone through it all. I celebrated your birthdays. I’m glad you lost the beard; you’d look awful with one.  
There’s going to be a knock on your door some time tonight. It won’t be Gina, it will be me. So unlike me, please open up when you hear it. And also, pick us up a couple of dynamic stabilizers; it’s going to be a long night.  
I have two years of things to say to you as well.  
Been here the whole time, your friend,  
-Hinata Shouyou

P.S. I love you too.

 


End file.
